Magnetic Wisdom #2

A slight, but effective, variation:

If you were oil, I'd be the stove.

Apparently I don't even know my own mind...

Re. My Psychic Powers: Unenviable. Lunch consisted of a Jerk Sole Wrap from World Wrapps.

Re. My Ability to Learn from Past Experience: Also unenviable. World Wrapps never ceases to disappoint me. Why is it so hard to get the ratios in a wrapp correct? I mean I know rice (even fancy Jasmine rice) is cheap and the bottom line is powerful, but for $6.50 I deserve to taste whatever protein I ordered. Don't I?

Plug for a book I should read ASAP: No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog. I hear it's excellent. Perhaps I'll pick up a copy this weekend. You'll also note a link to Mighty Goods over there -->

Today is less fun than one might hope

Today: Snow and ice. Again. My neighborhood is relatively unaffected (as usual - damn you sea level!) but many others got a snow day. Lucky butts. Of course, if this keeps up the kids of Western Washington are going to have a summer break that lasts exactly eleven and one half days.

Man, I did have something fun to post but I'm drawing a big ole blank right now...

Started and Finished reading: The Firework Maker's Daughter by Philip Pullman. Yes, I know it's written for seven-year-olds but I love the His Dark Materials Trilogy so much that I'll read most anything by Pullman. (Except the Sally Lockhart books - I don't have any idea why that is either.) This one is fun if a tad...disjointed? I kept thinking I was skipping pages (but I wasn't) or that something was wrong with my edition - like maybe every 18th page didn't make it to the printer or something. Odds are I was just reading a skoosh too far below my reading level. Not that I'm bragging.

Time for a very late lunch. I'll report back though my psychic powers lead me to believe it'll be a chicken Caesar salad.

For tomorrow:

Remind me to talk about these:

Magnetic Wisdom

Best one I've seen in a while:

If you were oil, I'd be a quart low.

Woza Blog!

Some days the office chatter is just like tiny knives in the spinal cord. I'm just saying.

So you may have noticed, I've decided to address this blog as if people are reading it. Not tons of people mind you; I'm no egomaniacal freak. But a decent enough sized group. Full of sweet, urbane, witty people and the occasional ass. (I know you are out there - you always are!) I'm doing this because:

1) All blogs are read by someone.
and
2) Eventually all blogs are ready by someone the writer knows even if she never tells a single person about said blog.

So best to just assume you are already out there. Judging me.

Speaking of which - here's one way I'm a little nuts: I started writing this post last night when I couldn't sleep. I did some rather compelling head composing. It was shaping up to be an exemplar blog post. Touching, funny, genuine. But then I fell asleep.

Once upon a time I thought a voice recognition typing program was all I needed to unleash my talented head voice on the world. Turns out head > mouth> screen > paper is even harder than head > screen > paper. And both suffer greatly when compared to head> hand> tiny scraps of paper. It's really too bad I've almost completely forgotten how to write longhand. I'd consider learning shorthand (which has the benefit of looking like and practically being a secret language) but considering I lost the ability to learn new phone numbers back in late 2004, I seriously doubt I could swing something as complex as shorthand at this late date. This is why kids should learn a second language early on -- before the brain cells calcify. Also, thank god I crammed so many vocab words into my head during my nerdy, nerdy youth. Sure it'll be sad to watch them slip away but it was nice while they were here. Indolent. Fetid. Sacrosanct. Myrmidon. Scythe. Dotage.

A side note: When I was a little kid - say 4 or so years old - I was trooping through the kitchen with at least four possibly as many as six other small children. (Where were our parents? Dude it was the seventies. If they were next door we were lucky. Odds are good they were at the piggly-wiggly or k-mart. Besides, if there were six of us kids there, that equaled 24 solid years of experience on earth. We should certainly be able to mind ourselves for a few hours at a time.)

So there we were -- six possibly ten or thirty-two tiny infants walking and crawling around a kitchen nigh on paved with giant serrated knives, electric can openers, and a gross of open Coors Light cans. And matches, of course. The place fairly dripped with strike anywhere matches. Anyway - we're toddling along and I say "Shhh! Shhh! Listen! You can hear the voice in my head talking!"

And everyone froze. They listened. I listened. We listened so hard. We listened around the mustard-colored fridge's ever-present grumbling hum. We listened past the barking dogs, past Johnny Olson screaming "Come on down!", past 'Kung Fu Fighting' echoing from some teenager's transistor radio down the block. And the voice in my head - my buddy, my pal, but unknown to me, myself - shut right up. There was nothing to hear. I was devastated. Let's hope that doesn't happen on the blog huh?

Lyrics of the moment: Let's go crash that party down in normal town tonight. Then we'll go skinny dipping in the moonlight. We were wild girls walking down the street...

Face it: I make up semicolon usage rules; almost every day.

This post's major themes: Knives & Innocence

Morning!

Today's weather forecast: Blustery, increasing cold.

Today's internal forecast: Chipper with a chance for annoyance later today.

I forget stuff (I bet you do too)

Sometimes it's important stuff, most times it's not really. (Books I've read, tasty lunches I ate, promises I've made, reasons I'm pissed at you and/or the world, etc.) But I'm hoping this blog will help me hang onto some of those otherwise destined to be forgotten or only dimly recalled things. I mean I know it won't help me find my keys when I misplace them (though how great would that be!), but it might help me keep things in perspective and my sense of humor cued up. (I'm sooo hilarious in my head...well you'll see I'm sure!)

So a few minor items:

Currently reading: Stupid and Contagious by Caprice Crane. (Oooh, Amazon currently has it bargain priced @ $5.19. You should go get it! I get no kickbacks as I'm not Caprice Crane and am too lazy to set up an Amazon referral account.) This book is so sharp and funny and if I could have stayed home from work today to finish it, I really would have. Stupid work. (Note to ethicists everywhere: I'm blogging this on my state mandated lunch break okaaaay!)

Today's addiction: Parentheses. (Seriously, right?)

Secretly proud of myself for: Spelling parentheses right on my first try.

News In Brief:
New York Has New Pervasive Stink No One Can Figure Out
Pigeons, Sparrows and Grackles Dropping Dead All Over Austin
Snow Expected AGAIN in Seattle Area

Summation:
End of Days Apparently On Somebody's Speed Dial

Please note: I'm a GIRL

Yeah... not sure about all this pink. I'm kinda chaffing under the template options here but not so much I'm prepared to custom code. So let's go with this wine and pink statement - at least for now.

Blah-dee-blah-blog!

Well, here goes. Nothing fancy this - just a repository of 2007 trivia. Also an excuse to write anything at all. Let's begin...